Meditations with Milo

Like most women, I am a champion multitasker. I am almost NEVER do just one thing at a time (with the exception of a handful of really enjoyable activities like reading, writing and sleeping). Once while buying makeup, I asked if the saleslady thought I could effectively apply it while driving, because otherwise, I really shouldn't buy it.

A Buddhist monk explained to me at a meditation workshop that the key to peace is to do what you are doing. Do not walk and eat: you either walk, or you eat. Be present by concentrating fully on one task at a time. Despite all my Zen aspirations, this struck me as a huge waste of time (unsurprisingly, I suck at meditation).

Milo has interrupted my multitasking in the sweetest way. He is a task that demands focus. When it's time to feed him or hold him or walk him to sleep, I find myself doing what I am doing and nothing else. And it doesn't seem like a waste of time at all.

Animal!

When Lucy was born, she weighed 6 lbs. 13 oz., was jaundiced, uncoordinated and dependent on a pathetic noob (me) for nourishment. She suffered what I call the Mandatory Starvation Period — the desperate weight loss between birth and two weeks, where you're both figuring out breastfeeding. You know, the most natural thing in the world (once described by Pie as trying to drive a standard with one person operating the clutch and another person operating the gas). The goal: get baby back to birth weight by the two-week doctor visit. Make your weight, kid!

Um, Milo made his weight on his two-day doctor visit. Today, at his two-week, he had gained 1.5 lbs!! The kid weighs 9 lbs., 14 oz. (and he was HUNGRY when they weighed him, so I bet after I fed him he'd have weighed a solid 10). DUDE. For all my bitching about being pregnant so long, his championship eating is one great benefit of his being more developed when he was born.

Oh, and the poor kid's head was 20th percentile at his two-day and 80th percentile at his two-week, which should give you an idea of how nicely his cone-shaped noggin has expanded. I knew that was no 20th percentile head...

There's a Lucy in the Library

Yesterday, I volunteered in the library for Lucy's class. No, I really have no business committing to that, but she has gotten so little of me in the past month, that I figured I should do something just for her (plus, I LOVE the library, and I want her to as well). And the pride on her face yesterday when we were in there totally made up for the fact that I was out in public wearing the same shirt I'd slept in the night before and maternity pants.

When they arrived in the library, the kids sat down in front of the librarian for story time. Before the librarian could even start reading, Lucy's hand shot up. "Ms. M., aren't you going to introduce the mothers who are here to help?" she asked pertly. I did not actually see Ms. M. roll her eyes, but I could sense that she wanted to. She introduced me and the other mother helper, who I am pretty sure was wearing clean clothes. Lucy beamed.

Then, as Ms. M. read the non-fiction book about tree frogs, she asked if anyone knew the word for animals who sleep during the day and are awake at night. Lucy's hand shot up. Again. She said, "Nocturnal!" (I had half-expected her to say "Milo!")

She raised her hand several more times to ask questions, and the librarian finally had to tell her to please just listen to the rest of the story and the instructions for checking out books. Oh, and at some point, she was hugging the boy next to her, while he tried to squirm away.

Seeing her in action at school has shown me that a) she's bright, confident and friendly to a fault and b) she has the potential to annoy the hell out of her teachers and classmates. If I could give her advice that she would understand it'd go like this: Dear Apple, Settle down a little. Trust me on this. Love, the Tree.

Smug

For the first two weeks of Lucy's life, she was an angel. I smugly thought, "Man, I am good at this. All these people griping about newborns are just wimps." Then, on the 14th day, she realized she'd been born. We spent the next 6 weeks in some state of motion: rocking, swaying, swinging, driving. Or occasionally, sitting still on the front lawn, staring the baby monitor, volume turned down (us), but lights flashing red from the screaming (her). It was during this newborn time that I began to think of Lucy as The Beast. As in, "Do not awaken The Beast" or "The Beast is stirring" or "The Beast must eat."

Today's is Milo's 13th day. So far, he has been an angel: a far more organized, calm creature than Lucy was at this stage (could this be the benefit of three more weeks gestation?). And I am just saying, for the record, for all the powers that be, that I am GRATEFUL. Not to be confused with smug.

Humbly,
Kate

The Kissing Bandit

Lucy told us a few days ago that Alexander (a first-grader she knows from her old school) was "scared" of her on the playground, and that he kept asking her to chase him, and sometimes she did, even though chasing was against the rules. She later admitted she was chasing him and trying to kiss him. I asked her if Alexander seemed to like her doing that, and she said, "He likes for me to chase him, but I don't know if he likes me to kiss him. I just can't help it, I want to kiss him."

Oh brother.

At This Very Moment...

...one week ago, I was having a baby. HAVING A BABY. FROM MY BODY. Milo wasn't here, then suddenly, he was. It never stops amazing me.

This week has been an Alice in Wonderland kind of experience, where everything that had seemed big (our jobs, the rest of the world) became instantly small, and now this tiny 8 lb., 5 oz. creature is huge to us.

Tonight, the four of us went out for pizza with Jason's family. In the car, Lucy was telling us what Milo was doing in the backseat and we were all being silly. Jason looked over at me and said, "We are four..." That never stops amazing me either.

The Big Sister

Lucy is handling the Major Life Change reasonably well (minus some tantrums that are more likely related to the exhaustion of kindergarten). She seems to like Milo well enough and has lots of affection for him. I think she would have preferred a puppy or kitten, but if that’s true, she’s not saying it out loud.

I think Lu’s big sister transition has actually been harder for me. I miss her desperately, and feel like I haven’t spent a focused moment with her in the time since Milo came (can that only be five days?). She seems so huge and grown-up next to the Little Animal that I am mourning her babyhood all over again.

But to see her hold him…it’s the sweetest thing ever. We will have to remind them of these moments when Milo has set Lu’s Barbies on fire.

p.s. We need a new name for this blog. Suggestions? The only one I can think of in my current mindset is Planet Poo, but we will outgrow that too quickly. I hope.

Bliss

The first rush of postpartum hormones are good drugs. I am ecstatic, mellow and falling in love.

Milo is a perfect little animal. I am enamored with every facet of his being, from his cone-shaped head to the dimple on his right cheek to his magnificent poop. When you are in love with poop, you are under the influence of the finest chemicals produced by nature. They should sell this stuff.

When Life Gives You Lemon...

...name him Milo.

Labor started at the Citywide Garage Sale with Pie and her dad. We calmly timed contractions and decided that if my water broke, we'd have some lovely embroidered vintage tea towels to clean up. After that we went to the Elks Lodge (we were in the neighborhood, and being an Elk, Mr. S wanted to see Austin BPOE 201).

They brought me home, and things were clearly under way by 3:30 or so. We sent Morgan and Lu to Pie's birthday party, and called our fantastic doula Shelley again. She said "Things are progressing fast. I am not saying that baby is going to be born on Mopac, but if you go to the hospital now, you know for sure it won't." So we did.

We got to the hospital at 5:45. Milo was born at 7:45. He weighs 8 pounds, 5 ounces. He has a head of black hair. He is perfect in every way. My mood is vastly improved.