Genetic Condition: Need to Have Last Word

This morning on the way to school, Lu and I were arguing strenuously about what season it was. She insisted it was fall because some of the trees have leaves and some don't (I didn't have the energy to explain deciduous, semi-deciduous and evergreen trees in temperate climates).

"Babe, it's winter."
"Nuh uh."
"Uh huh."
"Nuh uh."
"Ask Ms. Robinson, she will tell you it's winter."
"No, she won't."
"I know: did the groundhog see his shadow?"
"Yes."
"And what does that mean?"
"Six more years of winter."
"See, winter. Wait, not six more years. Six more weeks."
"No, six more YEARS!!! Six more years, Mom."

As I drove away, I shouted out the window, "Bye, Lu, I love you. Six more weeks!" From my rearview mirror, I could see her yelling "SIX MORE YEARS."

Overheard

For Valentine's Day, Jason bought Lucy a kitchen set for her dollhouse. It requires intricate assembly of furniture and setting a tiny table with flatware the size of fingernail clippings, among other things. As they're in her room rushing to assemble things before we take Lu to Pie's house, so we can have a DATE (you know, for Valentine's Day), I hear:

Lucy: "DAMMIT!"
Jason: "Lucy, what did you just say?"
Lucy: "Dammit."
Jason: "That is not a nice word."
Lucy: "Let's just set the table, Dad."

Warrior Princess?

Last night we had a nice dinner at Chad and Pauline's, and we were joined by their friends Liza and Eric and their son, Paolo. Paolo is a little younger than Lucy, and he is a typical boy, despite his crunchy parents' best intentions: Paolo likes guns the way Lu likes princesses. They had a lot of fun together. At one point, they ran onto the back porch hollering and growling...

Lucy, wielding a small dumb-bell and one of those handles you do push-ups with: "WE ARE HERE TO KILL!!!"
Paolo, brandishing an aluminum bat and kicking at the air: "THESE SHOES ARE FOR DESTROYING!!!"
Lucy: "I AM A VOLCANO QUEEN AND I AM GOING TO EXPLODE LAVA ON YOU."
Paolo: "AND YOU ARE GOING TO DIE."

Could this mean she is trading her crown for a weapon?

You Know, I Think Maybe We CAN...

I know that not everyone who reads this blog shares my political beliefs. Tough. But even if you don't agree with my left-of-center thinking, you have to admit it's pretty amazing to think that we will, in all likelihood, have an African-American or a woman as president of the United States very soon.

And you have to admit you love Barack. You know you do.

Kismet!

I am in Chicago at the Retail Advertising Conference, and the conference is good, but the weather is BAD. I learned a new weather term: "thunder snow." Thunder snow. I have not heard any thunder, but the wind is blowing so hard the snow is sideways. Jason had planned to come, but the weather did not cooperate.

I did have some company in Jason's absence, as well as further proof of the smallness of this world. The Chicago HIlton was once the largest hotel in the world — it's like a little town, especially when the weather is so bad no one leaves, canceling fancy dinner reservations in favor of warmth and banquet food. And whom should I meet in the 24th Floor Executive Lounge in this little hotel town? My cousin Kevin Major! He travels all the time (in fact, this is his second small-town cousin encounter — he once ran into our cousin Jason Nichols on the tube in London), so it was bound to happen. He taught me a few things about service-oriented development architecture which will make me sound very smart the next time I talk to my agency's development team. Just what I needed tonight.

Van Gross

Clifford is not the brightest marker in the box, but he certainly likes to eat them (markers, that is. And crayons and colored pencils and Play-Doh). Both the dogs chew on small toys and discarded diapers/pull-ups (yes, ew, but normal), but Clifford's appetite for art supplies is uncanny. It's as if there is some artistic urge in his tiny brain, yet, in the absence of thumbs, his only form of expression is...consumption. Or maybe his poop is his art. It's certainly colorful.

Please bow your heads in silence to mourn the marker that died to give Clifford these green spots.

Morning Yoga

Lucy spent a lot of time playing with her dollhouse this morning. She had all her people doing yoga, even the dog.

Where Do I Love Thee?

This morning Jason had to take his car to the shop, leaving me to corral Lu into her clothes and out the door to school. Jason normally handles most of this process (although I do take her to school), and I am really bad at it. Especially this morning.

When hurried, Lu downshifts into slooooow moootioooon. She wouldn't brush her teeth. Her shoes were lost. She let the dogs out the back door and I had to chase them home. I couldn't find my keys. I almost forgot the chili for the chili cook-off. I yelled at Lu and the dogs.

On the way to school, I apologized.
Lu said, "Mom, you were having a hard morning from me and the dogs, right?"
I said, "Yeah, I was, but it's okay."
She said, "I'll try to apologize...I'm sorry. Here, I'll sing you a song:
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you at the bottom of my heart."
I said, "Lu, I love you at the bottom of my heart, too."

Did You Know...

...that Duck is a real duck, not a pretend one? And his family lives in China and he misses them very much? And even though he IS real, he sleeps in a bed and not on a pond? And we need to feed him bread and sandwiches because he gets very sad sometimes? Just making sure you knew that, because I didn't.

Good Oral Hygiene

Right as we were pulling into the driveway at school this morning, Lu realized she hadn't brushed her teeth. She sobbed and wailed:
"I NEED TO BRUSH MY TEETH.
I HAD CANDY, SO I HAVE TO BRUSH MY TEETH.
OTHERWISE I WILL GET A CAVITY.
AND MY MOUTH WILL SMELL BAD.
AND NO ONE WILL WANT TO TALK TO ME.
I HAVE TO BRUSH MY TEETH.
TURN AROUND TURN AROUND TURN AROUND!"

I explained that Dad would bring the toothbrush later, and she thought we should wait in the parking lot for him to get there. I talked her out this, sending her teary-eyed and foul-mouthed into school. I ended up delivering the toothbrush later in the morning and Mrs. Robinson greeted me with, "Thank God you brought the toothbrush. We haven't been having a good morning."