Nocturnal Animals: Installment 2

The raccoon family has moved on. The pest control guys confirmed it today, sealing up the attic so the raccoons and their rodent brethren couldn't get back in. (For the record, raccoons not rodents at all -- they are part of the bear family, and therefore classified as vermin and not pests. And you can sleep a lot easier when they're carrying on overhead. Oh, no wait, you can't, because they sure seem like effing pests in the wee hours of the night.)

One of the things I would do as I listened to them scratch and chitter is imagine the Disney version of the story...

A beleagured single mother raccoon (raccoon dads are notorious deadbeats) finds a place to shelter her newborn brood (our attic). They are happy there for a time. They frolic and grow into precocious children: Pepe, the spunky one, Rocky, the intellectual (who hated his cliched name) and Serafina, the protective older sister who takes care of the family when Mama goes out gather food. Their only worry: the dreaded trap the Evil Humans had placed in the attic. They know to avoid it at all costs.

One night when Mama is out, Pepe can't resist the Oreos that Pest Control Villain had used to bait the trap and SNAP, he is caught! Mama comes home to find Rocky and Serafina beside themselves, and they fight together valiantly to free Pepe from the inside of the cage.

The humans below here the mighty clatter of the raccoon family's struggle to free Pepe. They are certain of their victory over their enemies, the misunderstood raccoons. When Pest Control Villain comes to check the trap, the humans look on smugly to find...nothing. No trace of the raccoons, nor of the Oreos. 

Meanwhile, the night before, the raccoons pack up their meager treasures —  richer a few more Oreos and some important wisdom — and scuttle into the moonlight. "Come on, kids, we'll find a real home someday. I just know it."

Based on the true story of the raccoons in our attic, who evaded capture and moved along.